Many moms struggle with how to get inspiration for writing. I get it–it’s hard to craft beautiful sentences with a toddler screaming in your ear. If you want to become a writer in your 30s or 40s or later, or if you’ve been writing your whole life but hit a wall once you had kids, you might have doubts about whether or not you can succeed. Some people even believe that you can’t be a mother and a good writer–a stereotype that continues to be perpetuated even though research has proven it isn’t true! Balancing a writing career with the demands of family life is hard, but it is NOT impossible; in fact, I have become a better writer since I had kids. Here’s why:

I can write anytime, anywhere.

It amuses me when writers talk about special rituals for writing or sacred places where they work. I need none of that to get into the zone. I have written awesome scenes on my kitchen floor, on my stairs (don’t move or you’ll wake the baby!), and next to my kids while they’re watching cartoons. I wake up early in the morning to write, but I also write at random times during the day. My son fell asleep on the couch? I’m writing. I’m early to pick up my daughter from school? I’m writing. A few minutes at a time doesn’t seem like much, but if you can block out the world and focus on your story, those minutes add up to more ideas and more words on the page. 

I prioritize writing.

Before I was a mom, I had more free time–but I was LESS productive. I no longer have the luxury of wasting time, so I’ve learned to be strategic. If I get an hour (or ten minutes) of “me time” a day, I spend it writing. I never watch TV. I rarely go shopping, get pedicures, or do anything to my hair other than tie it up in a ponytail. I used to avoid social media–until I realized it was a necessary evil for promoting my book (more on that here) I will leave loads of clean laundry unfolded in the hamper for days (my shirt is wrinkled, but hey, it’s clean). I organize my life around the two things that are most important to me: 1) being a good mom and wife, and 2) writing. I’m happy as long as I make progress on those goals.

I’m more flexible.

I get satisfaction out of organizing things like parties, vacations, meals, or creative projects down to the last detail. Guess what? Kids LOVE to throw a wrench in that. It takes one little tantrum or stomach virus and suddenly you’re throwing your plans out the window. It was REALLY hard for me to learn to go with the flow in life, but now that I’m used to it, I’ve seen huge benefits for my writing. I no longer hold onto scenes or sentences that aren’t working simply because I worked hard on them; I can throw anything away. Do I have to scrap a chapter it took me months to write? Cut out a favorite character? Change lines of dialogue that are beautiful but don’t fit the story? No big deal. My kids taught me to forget about my plans and to do what’s necessary in the moment.

I believe in the power of stories.

Every day, my kids remind me of the value of imagination. As an adult, it’s easy to get caught up doing only what’s practical–and there’s nothing less practical than writing a novel! But when I see my kids playing pretend games, talking about characters from books or movies as if they were real, or even writing and illustrating their own books (!!!), it reminds me of how important creativity is. Through fiction, we can better understand our dreams and fears and see the world from another’s perspective. Plus, making up stories is fun! The world would be a sad, selfish, boring place without imagination.

Hopefully this serves as an inspiration to women like me who are mom writers! You really CAN do it–and far from being a distraction, your work as a mother is helping your writing in subtle ways. If you’re feeling lost, remember that there are thousands of other moms going through the same struggles; you can even connect with them online through groups like this. Write on, mama! I believe in you!